Monday message #3 

In the past year, I have reconnected with three old friends. David and I shared the same playpen in Pittsfield of the Berkshires. Our parents were close friends who stayed in touch and ended up as senior citizens in the Kennebunk area. They look at each other in Hope Cemetery. Not surprisingly, David and I reconnected in midlife during our years at Harvard Divinity School where David taught Buddhism and, like his father, was an Episcopal priest. We have shared dinners and memories of our parents, of our education, and our new interests. David and I are soul mates and talk about anything in life, either fun or tough times.

Arthur and I shared junior high school teachers, scout masters, basketball coaches, and dancing classes in Uxbridge, a mill town near Worcester. Our parents supported our preoccupation with girls, athletics, golf, and birthday parties. We went separate ways when he went off to Exeter Academy and I to Moses Brown. We have reconnected after decades of life. Arthur retired recently as Curator of Dutch master paintings at The National Gallery in Washington. He is the foremost authority on the works of Rembrandt and Vermeer today in the world. Arthur and I just spent 4 days together with our wives at my home reminiscing and sharing moments of our respective lives. Arthur and I are soul mates who know and care about each other as life-long friends do. 

Ted and I became close friends at Trinity College. As first year roommates, we reveled in the freedom to drink and party. His kind mother would invite me to Darien for the weekend for a little home life away from home. And we struggled to grow up and learn something. Ted found success in New York’s finance world while raising a family in Connecticut. Today I visit him to lend love and support through his health challenges.

Ted, David, Arthur and I share common experiences but also found something of particular interest in one another to want to carry on our friendship after 65+ years. I am grateful that there are people on this earth who know me as I am authentically.

Meanwhile after 59 years living in Maine, I have become close friends with two fellows, Dick and Scott. Together with our wives and children, we have pursued successfully different careers, raised children, supported common environmental and art causes, and reached retirement age. One of our favorite pastimes has been hiking in mid-Wales. We know each other from having endured days in the cold rain and mud while hiking 13 miles a day, from overnight weekends together at summer places either on Maine lakes or Maine islands, and dozens and dozens of evening dinners empathizing over marriage, child rearing, health, politics, and environment causes.

Kate, my best friend and wife, occupies a special place in my soul as my wife and partner.

My reflection about friendship emerges as a huge quality of my life. They are my enduring, special, and valuable mates in this thing called life. I don’t want to live without them, they are a safety net of love and care. And I am theirs. How fortunate that in my pursuit of a career, home, and family, I found something life-giving and lifesaving… very, very good friends. 

I thank God.